Love: How far would you gamble?

“If you fall for a friend, the trouble is if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more” 

- Erica Jong

How dangerous is it to fall for a friend? If you feel such passion for somebody, how long should you keep it? When should you let it out in the open? Should you gamble even if the ground is too risky? To what extent are you willing to go to fight for what you feel or to save what you have?

Truth is, I don’t know how to start this entry without even thinking how I should verbalize some events and most of my thoughts. The original content has been edited so many times since last month after an incident happened which was actually the main reason why I’ll be talking about this subject. Then, similar events occurred lately which made me ponder really hard in order to understand how something good can actually turn out bad… and painful.

There had been so many cases where I lost a friend because of that inexplicable emotion. It was heartbreaking. I did manage to save a few, but if only I could save them all, I would have been happier.

What really happens on situations like these? Why do friendships shatter at the touch of a different feeling?

I think, the wrong part is when the person who has fallen decides to make a move which he thinks will be good for him without thinking of how the other end would feel. He is too busy with his fears of that emotion. That is why in most cases, people choose to just surrender the friendship than take the risk of admitting his emotions. For me, that action is so selfish. If you really are good friends, what’s to be scared about? You will always be given the chance to explain your point. And with that, you can express what you really want to happen. And if your friend is a really good friend, she will understand and would probably even help you compromise a setting which will be comfortable for both of you.

I remember what a guy friend told me before, “There is nothing to be scared about if you know that you’re not doing anything wrong. As long as it’s sincere, nothing bad is going to happen. Do whatever makes you happy as long as you’re not stepping on anybody’s shoes”

I had a friend before, who just abruptly ignored me. After so many months, he admitted he was falling. What satisfaction does it actually give to pull away and desert a friend? Do you know how painful it is to actually undergo mental tweaking just to figure out why someone just suddenly avoids you? It makes me feel like I have some sort of a disgusting disease.

A girl friend told me I should be flattered that those guys felt that way for me. But what’s the point of flattery or good feeling if it will only mean losing people you love?




SR0904