I can’t cognize the effect of the changes in the moon or gravitational
pull to how people see and feel things. I couldn’t care less. Whatever
it is that made me speak up the succeeding statements is invariably
beyond my understanding.
I was a wanderer when you came, with no sense of direction for I don’t want to reach any destination. I don’t think I need a place to stay because I was afraid to be sheltered.
You decided to go with me, which I didn’t mind for some reason. Little did I know that things will change without me knowing. I never thought I could see the world as beautiful as I did that time. I was happy.
It must be the way you made me laugh even at the simplest joke or the way you surprise me with your little concerns that almost made me forgot how my world was. The way you sit beside me even if there’s nothing to talk about or the way you check if I’m ok albeit I’m in a safe place made me feel important. Maybe, it’s the way you reach for my hand (but never touched it) when we’re on crowded places because I couldn’t follow you because of too much people or maybe it ’s the way you brushed a few strands of my hair when it hung on my face after they were blown by the wind that made me aware of who I am to you.
Then just as unexpectedly you came, you left. You said you’d come back. But you didn’t. And it made me ask myself, “what have I done?”.
After a couple of weeks, you decided to spare me some of your time to tell me why you had to leave. What you told me was supposed to be flattering, but it wasn’t.
Do you remember the time we just sat on the grass in silence then you spoke and told me that I shouldn’t worry because you’ll always be there and that you love me? Yes. Love. And there was no way to define it but in the context of friendship. And I told you I love you too and we both understood what it meant.
Do you remember the time you cried to me? Do you even know how tormenting it is to be beside you seeing those tears and not being able to do anything? I looked into your eyes and it just breaks me. I couldn’t even touch you. I couldn’t even hold your hand. I couldn’t even hug you and comfort you the way I wanted to. Why? Because I shouldn’t. Because there’s this part of me who’s scared that if ever I do any of those I might feel and realize that I’ll be crossing the thin line.
Yes. I felt it was possible. But we had a deal. Nobody should cross the fence. It sounded so stupid but I played it. Why? Because I know it’s for the good of both of us.
That love thingie is what brought you and me closer. It’s the feeling that almost made us the best of friends. Unfortunately, it’s the same feeling that tore us apart.
I knew I did what I had to do. Stood where I have to stand. But why did it happen? Why do you have to do this to me?! I was doing my part. Can’t you even see that?
You were just like them. You never gave me the chance to speak. And you know what? I think you’re selfish because you only think about yourself. And you’re a coward because you know you’re pretending and you’re denying it. You’re pretending that it’s ok but it isn’t. If you can bear it, well I can’t.
I hate the fact that what you’ve done hurts me. And this ache you’re causing goes beyond where I thought you could only go. And that’s what’s more pathetic… realizing you’re capable of affecting me this much. I can’t even believe you can make me cry. And it’s just not right.
So I have to put an end to whatever bond we have. I can’t just forever understand you and play along with you. Let’s just stop pretending that nothing has changed. That’s just so baloney. I’m doing you a favor now. Just go on with your life and don’t think that you still have some responsibility on me.
JY2705
I was a wanderer when you came, with no sense of direction for I don’t want to reach any destination. I don’t think I need a place to stay because I was afraid to be sheltered.
You decided to go with me, which I didn’t mind for some reason. Little did I know that things will change without me knowing. I never thought I could see the world as beautiful as I did that time. I was happy.
It must be the way you made me laugh even at the simplest joke or the way you surprise me with your little concerns that almost made me forgot how my world was. The way you sit beside me even if there’s nothing to talk about or the way you check if I’m ok albeit I’m in a safe place made me feel important. Maybe, it’s the way you reach for my hand (but never touched it) when we’re on crowded places because I couldn’t follow you because of too much people or maybe it ’s the way you brushed a few strands of my hair when it hung on my face after they were blown by the wind that made me aware of who I am to you.
Then just as unexpectedly you came, you left. You said you’d come back. But you didn’t. And it made me ask myself, “what have I done?”.
After a couple of weeks, you decided to spare me some of your time to tell me why you had to leave. What you told me was supposed to be flattering, but it wasn’t.
Do you remember the time we just sat on the grass in silence then you spoke and told me that I shouldn’t worry because you’ll always be there and that you love me? Yes. Love. And there was no way to define it but in the context of friendship. And I told you I love you too and we both understood what it meant.
Do you remember the time you cried to me? Do you even know how tormenting it is to be beside you seeing those tears and not being able to do anything? I looked into your eyes and it just breaks me. I couldn’t even touch you. I couldn’t even hold your hand. I couldn’t even hug you and comfort you the way I wanted to. Why? Because I shouldn’t. Because there’s this part of me who’s scared that if ever I do any of those I might feel and realize that I’ll be crossing the thin line.
Yes. I felt it was possible. But we had a deal. Nobody should cross the fence. It sounded so stupid but I played it. Why? Because I know it’s for the good of both of us.
That love thingie is what brought you and me closer. It’s the feeling that almost made us the best of friends. Unfortunately, it’s the same feeling that tore us apart.
I knew I did what I had to do. Stood where I have to stand. But why did it happen? Why do you have to do this to me?! I was doing my part. Can’t you even see that?
You were just like them. You never gave me the chance to speak. And you know what? I think you’re selfish because you only think about yourself. And you’re a coward because you know you’re pretending and you’re denying it. You’re pretending that it’s ok but it isn’t. If you can bear it, well I can’t.
I hate the fact that what you’ve done hurts me. And this ache you’re causing goes beyond where I thought you could only go. And that’s what’s more pathetic… realizing you’re capable of affecting me this much. I can’t even believe you can make me cry. And it’s just not right.
So I have to put an end to whatever bond we have. I can’t just forever understand you and play along with you. Let’s just stop pretending that nothing has changed. That’s just so baloney. I’m doing you a favor now. Just go on with your life and don’t think that you still have some responsibility on me.
JY2705
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