After almost a year of trying all possible and bearable ways to remove
my insomnia, it’s still there. Still giving me more time to scrutiny
situations, analyze things, ponder what I really want…. admitting that I
want them.
A friend once told me that “the mind can be so powerful it can deceive itself”. He’s right. For several times, I almost convinced myself to believe that I am somebody who’s la… la… la…, what happened is simply a le… le… le…, etc. just to make certain events more acceptable and less painful.
It’s difficult to force yourself to accept something you know you can’t, but have to because that’s the only way to make things less complicated. No matter how clear truth appears in front of you, you chose to close your eyes and deny that you see it. We can do that. Anybody can do that even if it’s so real and so obvious. That’s why it actually takes so much strength to stand for what you want yourself to believe. Yes you chose it to be that way but the main question is, how does it feel?
Normally, people draw away. Keeping in mind all the positive things it can do together with the negative ones, the person isolates himself or herself. Maybe not totally disappear but somehow tries to manage the distance that has been set apart. It’s kinda sad if you ask me.
Same goes with people who have fear of getting too close. No matter how much you try to reach out for them or no matter how much you want to prove them what you feel, no matter how much more you wanna give, they continue to stay at a certain distance. Thinking about it, they do have the right to stay that way. They have the right to protect themselves. But ‘til when? What does it actually take to finally make a step out of your comfort zone?
Do we need to choose less to lessen the pain?
A friend once told me that “the mind can be so powerful it can deceive itself”. He’s right. For several times, I almost convinced myself to believe that I am somebody who’s la… la… la…, what happened is simply a le… le… le…, etc. just to make certain events more acceptable and less painful.
It’s difficult to force yourself to accept something you know you can’t, but have to because that’s the only way to make things less complicated. No matter how clear truth appears in front of you, you chose to close your eyes and deny that you see it. We can do that. Anybody can do that even if it’s so real and so obvious. That’s why it actually takes so much strength to stand for what you want yourself to believe. Yes you chose it to be that way but the main question is, how does it feel?
Normally, people draw away. Keeping in mind all the positive things it can do together with the negative ones, the person isolates himself or herself. Maybe not totally disappear but somehow tries to manage the distance that has been set apart. It’s kinda sad if you ask me.
Same goes with people who have fear of getting too close. No matter how much you try to reach out for them or no matter how much you want to prove them what you feel, no matter how much more you wanna give, they continue to stay at a certain distance. Thinking about it, they do have the right to stay that way. They have the right to protect themselves. But ‘til when? What does it actually take to finally make a step out of your comfort zone?
Do we need to choose less to lessen the pain?
2 comments:
my answer: yes, if you're not ready to bear such pain.
not all people are brave enough to face everything that comes their way. there are numerous of ways of dealing with these "truths" and one of them is avoidance. but this doesn't make anyone less of a man (or woman). knowing ones limitations or tolerance on pain is admirable, and finding ways on dealing with it is better. avoidance, for me, is just the first step. but if one refuses to make the second, the third, that would be THE problem.
choosing LESS is painful as it is.
btw, heard from somewhere that taking magnesium on the mornin and calcium at night may help combat insomnia. not instantly, but long term cure. dont know if true, though.
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