I visited Vin's blog and saw a post regarding our conversation last week about
catching and not catching those who fall. This is a sort of reaction to
his blog entry…
Vin and I had a little talk about this guy friend of mine -- his feelings, his moves, his lines and the decisions he made with his friendship with me. After I shared the story to Vin, he said, "Was in his shoes a lot of times. Hard to fall when the other person wouldn’t be there to catch you Gerty. I recovered but it was a long process. But I still go on”.
I was left speechless. I don’t know how or why, but it hit me (yes my dear friend, it did). Hard to fall when the other person wouldn’t be there to catch you… It kept running in my head.
Vin also said, “Well at least, you let him down easy…”. Let the guy down? I didn’t even know that I did! I was totally oblivious with his feelings. Why wouldn’t I? Everytime we go out and most of the time that we have a conversation, he always speaks about a girl. I, on the other hand, would give him encouragement, (which I thought he needed then) to pursue what he felt. And when he asks about how I am, I would rant about how I lose friends because cupid seemed to be drinking too much alcohol that he wrongly strikes his arrows on my guy friends, thus leaving me because they’ve fallen.
Now I begin to ask, did they leave because I didn’t catch them? Or did they leave because they THOUGHT I wouldn’t catch them?
Most of the time, people wouldn’t take effort of hearing the other side. Maybe because there really aren’t much to explain about or the explanations aren’t enough to heal a bruised heart.
But how can you actually catch someone when you don’t even know that the other person is falling? As much as you wanted to catch him/her, you can’t. It’s either because your attempt to catch someone doesn’t involve that person or because you were too busy thinking or worrying if he/she will catch you since you were falling for him/her not knowing that the other person feels the same.
We keep on guessing and there’s no other safe place to go but to think it’s unrequited.
We may never know, they might want to catch us but they just can’t for some reason. And you have to believe me, it’s equally tough for them.
Vin asked why is he so lenient with me when I did exactly the same thing other people did to him. He was right when he thought that it’s the fact that I’m still friends with most of those guys whom I wasn’t able to catch. It’s mostly difficult, but I do exert effort depending on the situation.
There are so many reasons why someone won’t catch us. We can’t always assume that they’re heartless or insensitive. Not being defensive after someone has actually told me I break his heart everytime I say NO, but there could be so much in it that we didn’t know.
Someone has boldly told me before, “I’ve actually deleted your number. It was just this morning that I asked ***** for it. It must be the sun… I was thinking maybe I could have breakfast with you” (Mr. I-am-not-avoiding-you-miss, if you’re reading this blog, forgive me for having a good memory).
I don’t take offense with these kinds of statements. I appreciate and respect candor, which are properly delivered.
I say, there are things that we shouldn’t keep. Just the same that there are explanations that we should hear.
JE2905
Vin and I had a little talk about this guy friend of mine -- his feelings, his moves, his lines and the decisions he made with his friendship with me. After I shared the story to Vin, he said, "Was in his shoes a lot of times. Hard to fall when the other person wouldn’t be there to catch you Gerty. I recovered but it was a long process. But I still go on”.
I was left speechless. I don’t know how or why, but it hit me (yes my dear friend, it did). Hard to fall when the other person wouldn’t be there to catch you… It kept running in my head.
Vin also said, “Well at least, you let him down easy…”. Let the guy down? I didn’t even know that I did! I was totally oblivious with his feelings. Why wouldn’t I? Everytime we go out and most of the time that we have a conversation, he always speaks about a girl. I, on the other hand, would give him encouragement, (which I thought he needed then) to pursue what he felt. And when he asks about how I am, I would rant about how I lose friends because cupid seemed to be drinking too much alcohol that he wrongly strikes his arrows on my guy friends, thus leaving me because they’ve fallen.
Now I begin to ask, did they leave because I didn’t catch them? Or did they leave because they THOUGHT I wouldn’t catch them?
Most of the time, people wouldn’t take effort of hearing the other side. Maybe because there really aren’t much to explain about or the explanations aren’t enough to heal a bruised heart.
But how can you actually catch someone when you don’t even know that the other person is falling? As much as you wanted to catch him/her, you can’t. It’s either because your attempt to catch someone doesn’t involve that person or because you were too busy thinking or worrying if he/she will catch you since you were falling for him/her not knowing that the other person feels the same.
We keep on guessing and there’s no other safe place to go but to think it’s unrequited.
We may never know, they might want to catch us but they just can’t for some reason. And you have to believe me, it’s equally tough for them.
Vin asked why is he so lenient with me when I did exactly the same thing other people did to him. He was right when he thought that it’s the fact that I’m still friends with most of those guys whom I wasn’t able to catch. It’s mostly difficult, but I do exert effort depending on the situation.
There are so many reasons why someone won’t catch us. We can’t always assume that they’re heartless or insensitive. Not being defensive after someone has actually told me I break his heart everytime I say NO, but there could be so much in it that we didn’t know.
Someone has boldly told me before, “I’ve actually deleted your number. It was just this morning that I asked ***** for it. It must be the sun… I was thinking maybe I could have breakfast with you” (Mr. I-am-not-avoiding-you-miss, if you’re reading this blog, forgive me for having a good memory).
I don’t take offense with these kinds of statements. I appreciate and respect candor, which are properly delivered.
I say, there are things that we shouldn’t keep. Just the same that there are explanations that we should hear.
JE2905
3 comments:
so would you still say no??
I also fell before... at the College of Law lol but seriously speaking, this made me think
"explanations that we should hear"
right on mark, gerty! sometimes it hurts to hear but we must hear it. i have a friend who told me, love is not a zero-sum game, just because he/she doesn't like you doesn't mean he/she likes someone else. how true! i keep those words to this day, and it helps explain the other person's POV.
people have their reasons, if they choose to tell or not, it's not the spurned lover's business to know anymore.
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